mini me Monday: Freddie's birth story

I have been thankful since the moment I wrote it down that I have Hendrik's birth story on record - obviously one of the most momentous occasions of my life, and also something that made me feel so strong and proud (and yet some of the details manage to get hazy in my memory, of course the only reason that anyone would attempt to do it a second time, right?) - that I knew I wanted to write Freddie's too. But it's such a big thing - and not just because his was a 24+ hour process - that it was hard to get started. I was motivated by the ladies at The Girl Next Door to make it happen though, so I set an end of October goal for myself, and here we are! 

 

I'll place the whole thing after the break because it is LONG and try as I might I just couldn't shorten it. Mostly I wrote it for me to have all of those memories on paper (as it were), but I always find it fascinating to read any birth story of any variety, and found it very encouraging and empowering to read personal accounts like this before I went through it myself, so I thought I'd share here as well. 

Click through if you have some time/inclination to read, but otherwise, here's the shortest version I could come up with - some things I will always remember about Freddie's birth:

• The nurse helping me to the bathroom in between contractions and commenting how nice my toenail polish looked - so funny because I remember with Hendrik's delivery looking at my toes in the throes of it and thinking "oh darn, I was supposed to get that pedicure before the baby came, but he came early - and my toes look terrible!" I was not going to make that mistake again, and I didn't, ha! 
• Being between pushes and wondering what happened to Peter - with him coming back from the bathroom wiping his eyes with toilet paper and saying, "they really should have kleenex in here" - this was so momentous for both of us, the stress and pain at the tail end of a very long day/night of labor but also the excitement and anticipation of finally having a second child in our family.
• How absolutely tiny this baby felt when he was finally placed on my chest - I couldn't believe I had ever held one so small, and indeed it turned out that he was a pound smaller than Hendrik at birth.
• How absolutely huge and long-legged Hendrik seemed when he came into our recovery room to meet his baby brother a few hours later.
• The doctor and nurses asking us, "and what's his name?!" when he was screaming on my chest and they were doing all of the cord cutting and cleanup, and Peter and I meeting eyes across the chaos and nodding. After all of our back and forth all spring and summer about what to name "baby brother": yep, Freddie it is. 💙💙💙
  

5 things Friday: November TBR edition

October's not quite over yet, but I've finished all of the books on my TBR for the month, and in general it was so successful that I couldn't wait to come and report on them. Also got me excited for putting together a November list, since I did so well with my picks for this month... I ended dup with kind of a random mix for November, but it's all stuff on my shelf, and all stuff that has some orangey fall feels to the covers, so that seems like good enough reason for this lineup! 

For starters, I've got Wintering, a meditation on "the power of rest and retreat in difficult times," which has been on my list for a while after hearing such good reviews; as we go into the literal winter season in Michigan this definitely feels like the time to pick it up. 

Then I've got another feminist Greek mythology retelling, Elektra; I actually just read (and enjoyed) Ariadne by this author, and then this one ended up on my shelf because Hendrik noticed it at the library when he was there with Peter one day and suggested they bring it home for me because he thought I might like it too. Isn't that sweet?

And a few more contemporary fiction options: People Person, a family dramedy (smart and with heart, if her first novel, Queenie, is anything to go by); Maizy Chen's Last Chance, a middle grade read about an Asian American girl and her family's Chinese restaurant that I heard about on From the Front Porch; and then a grown-up story of an Asian American family and their restaurant located in the midwest that I coincidentally have on my shelf - this time a literary family drama with a touch of mystery, The Family Chao.

Excited to pick these up soon and report back in a month. Meanwhile, here's October's recap...

For October I chose my version of "spooky" - nothing scary, but still some seasonal feels with some fantasy and ghosts and such. And aside from one disappointment (and a BOTM again - really not doing well with them this year!), it was a most excellent reading month:

• The Change: okay, this one gets a bit bonkers by the end and has a way higher body count than I was expecting, but I could not put it down. Billed as "feminist revenge fantasy", it reads as juicy and gossipy, like the best of Liane Moriarty, but with a magical realism/fantastical twist: three women find that with middle life (i.e. menopause) comes unexpected empowering gifts. It's as if their rage has physical manifestations, like literally emanating heat enough to melt things and start fires. When a young woman in their wealthy coastal town is found dead and is written off by the police as an addict, these three women find each other and their gifts, coming together to figure out who the girl was and get justice for her - but finding that this is just the tip of the iceberg in missing girls, and the men who run things are doing nothing about it. I loved the mystery aspect, the friendship aspect, and the author's creativity in coming up with these women's newfound powers, along with how they use them to uncover the truth and bring their own form of justice. And while a wild ride of an unputdownable read, with that fun slightly snarky tone, there also was SO much to think about and unpack here - it's about when women are overlooked despite their skills and accomplishments, when they become invisible to the world (middle age, poor immigrants), how our lives are in some ways ruled by fear of what men could/might do to us, and what it could be like to be fully empowered to band together and do something about it. Content warning that there is some ick about men and underage girls (think Jeffrey Epstein type wealthy men behaving abhorrently); the tone made it not to depressing and horrible, but definitely some bad things happen to women in this story. All in all, I found it fascinating fun, though it almost goes off the rails at the end there - definitely a good way to channel your feminist rage for a few hours. ★★★★
• Unlikely Animals: A 5-star reading experience that felt fresh and unique, but also enjoyably familiar, as though it had mashed up my favorite elements of Goodbye, Vitamin (Rachel Khong), Nothing to See Here (Kevin Wilson), Lincoln in the Bardo (George Saunders), and Mostly Dead Things (Kristen Arnett). The result is a darkly comic, warm-hearted story narrated by the ghosts of a small-town cemetery as they observe a flailing 20-something return home to help care for her father, dying too young of dementia, and also make something of her own seemingly failed potential and family/friend relationships. It's a little weird and has a lot of elements going on (comedy bordering on silliness, tragedy, supernatural elements, family drama, small-town life and quirks and history, opioid epidemic, and hilarious 5th graders to name a few), but it all works - and it easily won me over thanks to the underlying feel that, as she mentioned in a great interview on Sarah's Bookshelves Live, Annie Hartnett writes from a place of understanding humans' difficulties and conflicts, but "just wanting everyone to be okay." ★★★★★
• The Fortunes of Jaded Women: here's my disappointer of the month - for a short book it just felt like it was a such a drawn-out family dramedy, I think partly because it was hard to know if it was actually supposed to be about the drama (and the immigrant, diaspora, prejudice, generational trauma etc. issues faced by a Vietnamese family in America) or if it was supposed to be about the comedy, which veered into the slapstick with the feuding 60-something sisters throwing oranges at each other and stuff like that, seeming like caricatures rather than characters to really get to know and root for. The contrast was just too much I guess? It made the characters a bit forgettable for me, rather than endearing. And unlike Unlikely Animals, the mix of "real" with the magical realism element just didn't work for me in this one. ★★.5
• Amari and the Night Brothers: my new favorite middle-grade fantasy series! I was just so sucked in and satisfied by this one and can't wait to read the next installment. It has a lot of my favorite elements of my recent fave, the Nevermoor series (strong female character, creative world-building that is easy to follow and get into and also has some clever delights to smile at, great story pacing, nicely dealing with some preteen/universal emotions and struggles), but I like even more the basis in the real world - and then having the protagonist come into this whole world of magic that she had no idea existed. It has the "chosen one" arc in the way of Harry Potter, where Amari is a seemingly average kid, but it turns out she was born with so much magic in her, nobody in the "other" world can quite believe it. She has to learn what this unseen world even is while fighting prejudice against magicians. That theme of prejudice was really well done - it drew on her life as a black kid in Atlanta and how she and her family are judged for their skin color or for living in the projects, and then how in the same way people fear what they don't know or what they think is "other" in the magic world, not giving her a chance when they learn she is a magician. I don't think you even need any more synopsis. Just know that if you like a school for magic type situation with a great protagonist, this is a must-read! ★★★★.5
• A Lady's Guide to Fortune Hunting: if you like recent Regency romances like the Bridgerton series or Bringing Down the Duke but find the steaminess to be a bit much (or distracting from the story, like I sometimes do) - here's a great suggestion! It's set in that time period and gives you the reluctant young duke who has to figure out his new duties and is also not interested in marriage, along with the young woman who needs to get married to secure a comfortable future for herself - and her four younger sisters. It draws on the themes of Jane Austen regarding the limited options/agency for women, the tension between marrying for security and marrying for love, and the tension/forbidden movement between social/economic classes - but it's more explicit in discussing these issues, through what the characters think and say. You also get a bit of interesting history of the period that Austen doesn't quite go into but just hints at - like what war were all of these regimental officers that Lydia Bennet is obsessed with actually fighting in? The story is predictable, but if you like a nod to Austen (without being a retelling) and you like the pluck of modern writing about the era like Bridgerton, it is oh so delightful. Note that if you need some steam, you might find this one boring, but for me it was a cute amount of chemistry and cheekiness; no bedroom scenes at all, but the banter is really all I need! ★★★★

Hendrik's Poké-party

Hendrik's birthday parties since year 1 have basically been little time capsules of what he's like at that age - from his obsession with birds, to his love of Harry Potter, and now... Pokémon. Admittedly this is not something I personally care for (or really have any knowledge of), but after being introduced to it at school he has amassed quite a collection of cards along with an encyclopedic knowledge of all things Pokémon. So of course he wanted this to be his party theme, and I obliged - but tried to at least make it cute ;-)

 

Invites and décor

It's Paperless Post all the way for me these days, and luckily they had a cute Pokémon inspired option! For décor, I'm always tempted to go all-out, but honestly it's more for me than the kids - I mean, do 9 year olds even notice any of this? They were immediately just running around the house, not oohing and aahing over decorations. So I'm glad I kept it fairly simple, since I don't really have time to be doing Pinterest-worthy creations... Ordered some fun balloons, which he LOVED, and a birthday banner, and I got out my cute cake stands to arrange the food. Good enough! Though I did see and think this idea to do a wall of Pokeball designs made out of paper plates was really cute.

Treats

Hendrik helped me plan this part - he thought we'd be on theme if we did Poképuffs (cupcakes) and Pokéberries (fruit tray), and on the day of the party he even came up with making cute little label cards for them. I kept it simple by ordering cupcakes from the grocery store bakery with color-coordinating frosting and grabbing a pre-made fruit tray.

 

 

Activities

This is the biggest "friend party" we've done in years, and I was a bit nervous about having a bunch of 8 and 9 year olds running around my house, so I tried to come up with some good activities - but also was a little nervous they'd think my ideas were cheesy... luckily I came across an idea to do some minute to win it games as "training" for Pokémon trainers. You need your agility and dexterity and such before you go off to catch your Pokémons after all!

Then for the catching of Pokémon, I hid little figurines for a backyard hunt. To make it cost-effective and also a bit of a challenge for these older kids, I got these little Croc charms - quite small so they really had to hunt, but comes in a huge pack so I could hide enough for each kid to find about 6 of them. And then I put little bracelets in the favor bags that they could put their charms onto.

The minute to win it games we did:

• Unwrap it: see how many Hershey's kisses the kids can unwrap in 1 minute while wearing oven mitts (spoiler alert - not many!)
• Balancing act: hold a tongue depressor (or a popsicle stick, I suppose - we have an ENT doctor for a dad here!) in your mouth and see how many dice you can stack on it. Can try it two ways: stack your own (makes the kids go a bit cross-eyed, very funny), or do it with a partner and have them stack on your stick.
• Hands-free transfer: put a pile of mini marshmallows on the table and see how many each kid can transfer into a bowl using just a straw, no hands.
• Marshmallow toss: have pairs of kids stand 4ish feet apart and see how many mini marshmallows they can toss into their partner's cup in a minute. And then have the other kid toss the other way - eats up some more time!

 

Favor bags

The part that I more went all-out on searching/spending a bit because I like to find things that are not too junky and are a bit of a novelty. For starters, who doesn't love office supplies, adult or kid? I found round sticky note pads (reminiscent of a Pokéball...) and put those in along with an eraseable pen (Hendrik is obsessed with these and his friends seemed to love them too) and a Pokémon pencil. Then there was the rubber bracelet for the character charms they collected in the scavenger hunt, and some treats too: Pokémon grahams and monster-themed Hershey's kisses. And everything went into these little bags.

 

It seemed like all of the kids had a great time (and were delighted to meet the baby Pikachu in attendance), and Hendrik thanked me for such a fun party multiple times unprompted, so I'm feeling like it was a success! Also felt like I was ready for bed by like 5pm that day, but that's another story... whew.

currently: event planning edition

 

A little life update by way of some happenings that I'm currently planning for around here...

assembling: party favor bags for Hendrik's Pokémon themed birthday party - he turns 9 on Saturday!

coordinating: Halloween costumes for Hendrik and Freddie. No surprise, Hendrik wanted to be something Pokémon related, so he's going to be Ash Ketchum, and Freddie's going to be his Pikachu.  

deciding: on a brunch menu for our little post-church celebration after Freddie's baptism later this month. I'm thinking some kind of quiche/frittata dish since they're easy to make (or order from our local bakery!) in advance and can serve all of the family who will be around, and then some fall flavors, maybe with an apple crisp (made and loved this one recently) or a cinnamon coffee cake.

selecting: outfits for the fam for Freddie's baptism day, so when we're all dressed up and have some other people around to serve as photographer we can hopefully snap a good one for our Christmas card. We had a professional photo shoot in the spring and I adore the results, but Freddie is so much bigger already that I want a more current family photo too! I'm wearing this dress, so everyone will have to coordinate with me, ha... Freddie's got this sweet little oxford shirt for his outfit.

anticipating: making a packing list for... our trip to the Bahamas this winter! Just got everything booked for an ocean view room at a gorgeous Sandals resort - I'm calling it our belated-belated-belated 15-year anniversary trip and cannot wait.

That's what's providing the motivation and happy distraction amidst the day-to-day diaper rash, occasional childcare shortage, gray skies, and cold virus that lasted for 2+ weeks... Some good stuff to look forward to and enjoy! Any big events in your October (or future plans)?

mini me Monday: Freddie's favorite reads

Hendrik has always loved books, which of course I've always found very gratifying; Freddie didn't show as big of an interest as early on, but now he's really getting into them. It's so fun to see how he engages with what's on the page in books he's interested in... and interested in is the key, because if he's not he'll just slam the book closed on you and point animatedly toward the one he wants instead. So I thought I'd share the ones that he is constantly pointing at and saying "ah, ah, ah" until we pick them up and read them to him:

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

I'm not always sure what will really capture Freddie with a book, since the ones he gets obsessed with seem feels kind of random, but some themes I see coming through are: construction machines/trucks, slides/flaps/cutouts (like the holes in The Very Hungry Caterpillar) that he can poke at, really graphic/bold illustrations, and funny noises.

I think these are all cute, and decent read-alouds too, which is good because we have them on major repeat. But I do keep trying to sneak in some new library picks too and see if anything sticks (that's how we ended up with A Good Place), and then I can "disappear" them from rotation when they come due. So some ideas for you if you have a little one who is obsessed but needs to expand their list for your sanity... and maybe you have some favorite suggestions for us too!