reading lately: motherhood

In the past 8 months, I've tried to steer clear of most pregnancy books, because I felt like they'd mostly just freak me out about things that could go wrong or what delivery might be like and stuff like that... instead I've found some great motherhood-related memoirs that were all super enjoyable to read and helped me focus on the good stuff (even amidst their honest depictions of the hard parts of carrying/birthing/mothering a new baby).

I'd recommend all of these, even to people who aren't expecting, as they're all written by women who otherwise are all quite good authors. I especially loved the Anne Lamott, because she's always a great read, and Bringing Up Bebe, because it's just so dang fascinating. I first read it well before I was pregnant and couldn't stop talking about it for months.

Waiting for Birdy
This was the first motherhood memoirs I read after getting pregnant, and while it’s about the yearlong span of conceiving/expecting/delivering the author’s second child, it’s still a great read for someone expecting a first child. First, it’s really entertaining (she’s funny, and her three-year-old who features heavily in many of her stories is quite precocious), but second, reading it while I was still pretty early in all the bewildering/exciting/crazy/slightly terrifying changes and emotions that are part of pregnancy was so great because I really connected with a lot of her reflections on the good, bad, ugly about it. Of course I know that women have been doing this for centuries, but when it’s all so new and internal, reading a personal narrative made me feel relief about all my crazy emotions (i.e., I’m not the only one feeling crazy) and excitement about how wondrous the whole thing really is.

A couple quotes I especially loved:

I try to imagine what it will b e like to return home tomorrow.... I will bring her home, and then we will really be doing it--we will really become a family of four. Where there was wondering there will be life. There is life already. Let me say this--if love is a pie, it's a really big, really delicious one.

I'm suddenly conscious of the fact that this is a cliche: that everybody says having a baby is like riding on a roller-coaster. But I really mean it: having a baby is like riding on a roller-coaster. I want to get off now, but I know I'll be glad I didn't.

This is such a funny stage--when you're right on the cusp of looking undeniably pregnant, but people, bless them, are not certain enough to say anything. Inside my jacket, I feel smug with my secret, the way you feel when you fall in love, and you move through the world--stopping for gas, buying your groceries--thinking "None of these people even suspects a thing!" And meanwhile your heart pounds out its passionate cadence; your head swells with the future.

Great with Child
This book is a series of letters the author wrote to a younger friend who was expecting her first child. There's advice, and there's also lots of reflection on her own pregnancy and life with her now 2-year-old daughter - so some of it's practical, some poignant, some funny. All really well written and quick to get through because of the short letter format. On the theme of great writers - this author is actually a poet, which you can tell (in a good way) in her letter writing, and she also happens to be married to author Tom Franklin (I really enjoyed his Crooked Letter, Crooked Letter), so that's kind of fun, especially when you get tidbits about their writing processes and how they both work while juggling parenthood.


Bringing Up Bebe
As mentioned, I read this one well before I became pregnant, and I loved it. The parenting approach is absolutely fascinating and so completely sensible to me (I spent many months spouting information from it - “well, the French would say…”), and it was quite enjoyable to read. Now, of course, I’m looking to implement some parenting of my own in the near future, and let me tell you, I want one of those French babies that sleeps through the night at just a couple of months old and is able to sit nicely through dinner at a restaurant as a two-year-old. So I've been looking back at it again with a more practical viewpoint.


Bebe Day by Day
This one isn't exactly a memoir, but a brief follow-up to Bringing Up Bebe. When I spotted it when I first got pregnant, I had to add it to my shelve - though it's not really anything new, it's kind of nice to go through as it distills the previous book into short, easy-to-read guide of those helpful French parenting lessons. And you can do that in an hour or so, it's so short, or you can just pick sections that are helpful at the time.


Operating Instructions
I appreciate it when people keep it real about the ups and downs of new motherhood - everyone goes through them, and I feel like honesty gives us permission to not blame ourselves or feel alone with emotions - which is hard when most of the time you get things like "I just love being a mommy, blah, blah." And Anne Lamott is one of the best at keeping it real already (re: her past addictions/recovery, her faith, her dislike of George Bush), and so of course her journal about the first year of her son's life was excellent in that regard. Her descriptions of how beautiful and mesmerizing she found her son got me so longing to finally hold my own in my arms and experience the same feelings, and the descriptions of the hard parts, while got me feeling a little trepidation, felt like at least a little preparation for something you can't really prepare for. This one was also really quick to get through - it's not very long, and the short journal entry format moves things right along (plus Anne Lamott memoirs are just darn entertaining to read - she's a great storyteller and very funny). An excellent one.