staying in, week 9

Still holding strong over here on staying home, but it's still been a pretty up and down week. Mr. Sassy Pants got sent to his room multiple times, my sleep is still not great, and the moments of wishing I could just have my normal schedule of control over my own time popped up a lot - which makes me extra glad I have this space to vent a little about the lows... but also as a ritual to reflect on the little moments that made for highs. Once I got them all grouped together here, I realized how many there were, even if there were also plenty of times that I was just trying to get through.

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Good things

Favorite book: Writers & Lovers, which is one of those sneakily propulsive character-driven novels that makes me love it even though I don't love character-driven novels. Finished it in just a couple of days and thought it was really well written.

Best Netflix escape: I just started Never Have I Ever, and what a delightful, quirky escape into the life of an Indian American teenager (despite the fact that she's recovering from the trauma of her father's death) and her quest to finally become cool. The fact that it's narrated by tennis legend John McEnroe illustrates the enjoyable level of quirk of this whole thing, but then there's some great touching family and friendship moments.

Most anticipated blog post: Modern Mrs. Darcy's summer reading guide for 2020 was posted this week, and I've been waiting for it! I always love looking through her suggestions, and while I'm not intending to get to them all, it's nice to see encouragement to read a couple of the books already on my list (including This Tender Land, The Vanishing Half) and also to get some new ideas in two categories I really want more of right now, YA and mystery (excited to try out Strike Me Down, for one).

Most exciting house update: we have just been able to (safely, following guidelines) resume the bathroom remodel, and the tile guy has made some good progress this week. Very exciting in itself, but extra so because I LOVE the floor tile already. A relief, because after choosing it soooo long ago, it was hard to even remember what it was going to look like, and easy to start second-guessing my selections.

Best payoff recipe: I rediscovered an old favorite, the simplest of peanut butter cookies - which don't even require flour, in case you're experiencing a shortage like I previously was! After baking and letting them cool on the tray for a couple of minutes, I press a square of chocolate bar onto the center of each for a bonus. So easy, but so tasty.

Randomest amusing Hendrik quote: out of the blue, he says, "did you know that sharks don't get cancer?" Huh, I say, that's good. "Yep, good for them. But they get other diseases. And other creatures get diseases. Whho, dogs really carry the rabies."

Best delivery: the Lego Whomping Willow set finally arrived, thank goodness, after days and days of Hendrik talking about it non-stop (slowly driving me crazy), and after a delivery delay on the originally scheduled date (not surprising in these times, but hard on an excited 6 year old). And its arrival meant multiple hours of alone time for me. And it also led to...

Sweetest Hendrik quote: "I'm just going to finish one more Lego step and then I'll take a mommy hug break."

Best views: the flowering tree outside my office window. More sunshine + blue sky + blooming tulips on a bonus, unexpected chance for a long run when Peter ended up with a half day on Tuesday.

Bummers

Missing the most: just being able to do my thing. Period.

Bummerest cancellation: kinda just feels like summer is already cancelled in general, with Lake Michigan eating the beaches and a bunch of houses along it, and all the camps being canceled.

General feelings: roller coaster, regarding my own feelings and also regarding the news. Frustration when people appear to be just disregarding the stay at home orders. Despair when I think of the possibility of school not opening up as normal in the fall. Anxiety when I hear how many more people could get sick and die. Guilt when I'm feeling sorry for myself not being able to have my old routine, when I really have it so good compared to so many right now. Occasional ambivalence when it comes to doing anything with yet another day at home. Lots of feelings - perhaps this isn't so much "roller coaster" as "pinball machine"?

Hope you have an even-keeled weekend. Or at least a tolerable one...